Wednesday 31 August 2011

Freedom


So, week 4 of the writing challenge. Here it is. It could do with some work and a rewrite or twenty, but I wanted to keep it a bit lighter and more upbeat than I've written for the other challenges. I also wanted to use a different narrative and so I chose first person. I'm not sure that I've succeeded in doing that well but I have tried.  I really wanted to keep writing this so I think I'm going to use it for the basis of something in the future. Who knows :)


It’s cold, it’s murky and I’m on my own. The rain is falling and the sky is grey. I can honestly say I’ve never been happier. 


It’s the kind of rain that soaks you to your skin within seconds. The kind of rain that makes you feel cleansed, even if it does make your mascara run;  and it is running, like two rivulets swirling down each cheek, clogging my vision slightly. I don’t care, I’m still smiling, in fact, I keep breaking into, what can only be described as, girly giggly fits. So very out of character for me, but not anymore. I feel as light as if I’d lost half my body weight. I have a childish urge to jump into the ever expanding puddles around my feet. So I do it. There’s no one there to see me do it, and even if there was, well, so what? It’s not their feet I’m soaking. Not their shoes I’m ruining. That thought sobers me for a second. I’m ruining a rather lovely and rather expensive pair of brown leather boots. Then I splodge again. Let them be ruined. I can buy some more.
Today has become the proverbial ‘first day of the rest of my life’.  I could grab everything with both hands. I could do as I pleased without fear of retribution. I had planned so long for this day. I’d written lists of what I would do. Where I wanted to go. What I wanted to see. There was just too much to fit in, but fit it in I would. No matter how hard it was. In my head I’m already making alterations to the lists. This walk definitely wasn’t in it. I’d imagined that I would be calmer, even morose. I hadn’t expected this desire to scream and shout and run around, or the excitement. I hadn’t imagined the excitement! Out of the corner of my eye I can see the top of a swing. I mentally added a new item to the “to do” list and head for the play area. It’s usual noise replaced by the rushing sound of the rain past my ears and I run towards the empty swings. I jump up onto the seat and launch myself into the sky. Swinging myl egs backwards and forwards as hard as I can manage.
I hang my head as far back as I can and feel my hair brush against the floor as I surge upwards again and again. I know it’s a tangled mess, but, just like the mascara, I don’t care. I am free! With my head hung backwards I can really stare at the sky. The grey clouds merge, so many different shades of the same colour. I’ve never noticed how beautiful grey is before. How subtle tinges of white and black can create such dramatic effects with it. And then I see lightening. I hear thunder. I genuinely believe this day can’t get any better. The brightest, whitest light I can imagine cracks open the clouds that I’m staring at and I am in awe. I feel the depth of the thunder like a lion’s roar and I’m in awe. I slow my swing to a stop to be able to really watch the natural spectacle unfold before my eyes. The world is putting on a show just for me.
Sitting up, I wipe the trails of mascara from my face so that my eyes are clear. Another plan. I want to see a tropical storm. And at that moment I notice I am not alone. I feel a frisson of fear. I am alone in a park. No one within shouting distance. He smiles and the fear dissipates. There’s something in his face that I recognise. It looks very similar to the freedom I can feel on my face. The childish glee conveyed in a simple upturn of his mouth. I tentatively return the upturned mouth. I see a piece of paper in his hand. A carbon copy of mine but with different names. Then I understand. 


Decree Absolute.

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